You Got Anything Stronger? was an unofficial read by the BIBC. We didn’t plan to read it, it just happened. In my opinion, it happened exactly the way it was supposed to. I finished it right before Black History month began, and therefore it led me into the month thinking about and looking at things differently.
 
Of course, years ago I read We’re Going to Need More Wine, and for several reasons. First of all, I didn’t always love Union as an actress. I watched her movies because she’s Black and I keep my eyes on Black actors, but I felt she was the same person in every movie. Then she did Being Mary Jane, and that’s when I felt like she finally came alive to me as an actor. I felt like she’d finally unlocked that thing that allowed her to show her depth as she portrayed different characters. From that point on, I’ve been a hardcore fan. If Gabrielle Union is in it, I’m watching it, if she releases a book, I’m buying it. I would’ve even bought more of the clothes in her New York & Co. line if I were tall enough. (She makes tall girl clothes, and I am not a tall girl.) Anyway, when We’re Going to Need More Wine came out, I pounced on it—the audio book of course. Not only is she a phenomenal storyteller, but her conversational reading tone is captivating. Like Kerry Washington and RuPaul, I could listen to Union for days.  I loved We’re Going to Need More Wine, so I don’t know how I missed You Got Anything Stronger? when it came out, but things happen for a reason. As I mentioned before, it happened the way it was supposed to happen.
 
So yes, You Got Anything Stronger? pretty much picks up where We’re Going to Need More Wine leaves off. Union regales us with her real life experiences in all the different facets of life. She talks about life as a mother, daughter, “bonus” mother, girlfriend, wife, friend, sister, actor, and creator. Let me just say this, yes she discusses Zaya, but Zaya’s story is not the focal point. I’m sure when the book came out in the eye of the media storm about Zaya, people picked up just to find out what she had to say. There’s a whole chapter on Zaya, that’s not totally about Zaya. Why? Because Union’s intent was not to tell Zaya’s story. She simply shared her experience as a bonus mom to a trans child. That was it. The focus was on her as a bonus mom. Her experiences led her to realize that although in her first memoir she stressed that it’s important for a bonus mom to find her lane and stay in it, in her second book she shares that she learned sometimes we may have to change lanes in order to be what a child needs in the moment. Many of us believe that staying in our lanes as bonus parents means keeping the natural parents happy. We don’t realize how we prioritize ourselves and natural parents over the needs of the child, because we think keeping the peace is what’s best for the child. At the end of the day, just be what a child needs in the moment, regardless of how you earned a role in their life.
 
The chapters that hit me the hardest were the ones about being a Black woman in your forties and what it means to be Black in this country. I am now in my early forties having all kinds of interesting mental, emotional, and physical experiences. To hear another Black woman speak so frankly about these matters was comforting. I come from a line of brash women who don’t always want to sit around and dissect my introduction to every decade of my life. As soon as my mother and aunts reached their forties they all said, “The older you get, less fucks you give.” I heard it so much I looked forward to it, not only do I find that it’s true for me, I’m enjoying the hell out of it. I didn’t hear anything else though. There was no discussion of agency over my body, how to move in intimate relationships, how to grow in friendships, or how to make adjustments in my parenting, and in my case, I am not the parent to an adult child. In her book Union talks about noisy bones and chin hairs. Women in my family are prone to increased beauty marks and facial hair as we age, and there’s little discussion about that as well. “Yeah we get more moles and get ready to start putting Nair on your chin,” is the extent of the conversation. Nobody talks about how they feel about it. Nobody mentions fearing aging or looking forward to it. It just happens, and we just move forward. I think that’s helped me to embrace aging, but it was nice to hear Union discuss the layers.
 
Finally, when I reached the end I realized she hadn’t saved the best for last, but rather the most important. Union does a deep dive into violence against Black bodies in the media. The chapter took me back to the George Floyd footage and how it affected one of my sisters who works in journalism. To this day I have not seen the video. When the story broke, I heard about it and that was enough for me. However, as a journalist, my sister had to be subjected to the images over and over and over. My insides hurt seeing how that video haunted my sister. I have since considered how we have been desensitized to not just violence on the screens, but how the violence of Black bodies is always available for consumption. Union points out a few specific details that hadn’t crossed my mind. For one, she reaches back in time to the writings of Phyllis Wheatley, and draws a connection between her discussion on public lynchings and the footage we see today. I feel like that connection may have crossed my mind at some point, but I’d never looked at it from the perspective Union presented. She offers that at one point in time lynchings entertained white people, but today we are encouraged to share and replay violent footage to get the attention of white people, to clue them in on how we are being treated. With that I said to myself, “why do we have to ‘clue them in,’ when they are often the ones committing the acts, so they are totally aware?”
 
I consumed this final chapter entering February of 2025, in a time of unadulterated chaos and confusion in the country I live in. Though this memoir was released four years ago, it proved how literature can be ahead of its time, and/or stand the test of time. Everything she said in that chapter, unfortunately is still relevant today. I loved that fact that it made me think. I hate the fact that we are still facing the same tragedies since the times of Phyllis Wheatley. We’ve all been saying that Black women are tired and therefore we are resting. This last chapter reiterated that thought for me. Union admits to participating in the sharing of the nasty footage before realizing how harmful it was, but honestly I didn’t do the same. I did sometimes watch some of it. I think by the time Floyd was murdered though, I was overwhelmed and unable to give my energy to watching it, let alone sharing it. So our rest includes not sharing footage that harms us in order to get white people right.
 
You Got Anything Stronger? was accurately named and I enjoyed every minute of the audio book. I hope that Union releases another memoir to further discuss the peaks and valleys of Black womanhood. Her insight is eye-opening and refreshing. Of course, she get’s a full five stars from me.

​Of course, prior to the release of this book, I heard the interviews and I scrolled the social media pages of his castmates, double checking everyone’s temperature on Jaleel White’s memoir. When I first saw the cover on my Audible feed, I was excited and immediately shared the upcoming release with the Black Icons Book Club. We all pre-ordered and awaited the download date. We took a break from our Black icons, and upon our returns to work, we got down to listening to Growing Up Urkel.
 
Overall, it’s a good listen. I found it to be very insightful. White shed light on a lot of things that I never would’ve given a thought to. I was a TGIF fan growing up, and of course a major fan of Family Matters. I even dressed up as a female Urkel in the fourth grade for Halloween. Back then, in the thick of the nineties when there were so many child stars to relate to, admire, and look up to, we never thought about the effects of fame. When we millennials reached our early twenties is when we learned that fame at a young age isn’t all it's cracked up to be. We participated in the auto-typecasting of actors like Jaleel White. The minute we saw his face on screen, we expected to laugh and we did. We laughed no matter what he was doing. We nudged each other saying, “look at Urkel tryna act.” Now that we’ve reached our forties, many of us feel bad for contributing to Hollywood’s exploits. We’re interested in finding out the truth and we’re giving those same child stars we laughed at, space to show us all they can do. Now hearing what it was like for White all those years ago creates a different experience when watching Family Matters nowadays.
 
I’m on the fence about some of the comments White made about his castmates. I think somehow I already had the impression that because he was the star of the show, he was treated better than everyone else on the show. It may have been just enough for him to say that he wasn’t. I don’t think he needed to comment on reasons for Jaimee Foxworth’s vague exit from the show. She’s had ample opportunity to speak on it, and White’s comments about her lack of skill seemed petty. He talks about his friendship with Kellie Shanygne Williams, but then he drops a comment about her weight that was something like, due to personal reasons she couldn’t maintain an ideal weight, and therefore left Hollywood. That threw me off. If he’s her friend, and it was personal reasons, why mention it at all? It’s like he was saying things about people that no one asked him about. It was weird and petty. The story about Bianca Lawson floored me. He really thought that girl was using him and he based that on her interest in his future. Like, maybe for a time he thought he was being used. But now, he’s gotta know she was trying to see if he was worth her time. She was trying to see if he was of her caliber. Now he can’t escape his childhood character and her face has been seen in a range of films and tv shows. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her play the same role twice. White’s parents were real regular, he knows damn well he’s in desperate need of Lawson or Gordy (or Ross, or Jackson) magic.
 
It sounds like White had to fight not to be taken advantage of, but I’m not sure the battles are over. Whoever advised him on this memoir and edited it must’ve had ulterior motives. Why else would anyone let him make such unnecessarily absurd comments?  
 
On the other hand, I applaud his parents for doing the best they could. While they made their mistakes, we know there are parents who’ve done much worse. I am proud of White for never succumbing to drug abuse, or extreme bouts of depression. I enjoyed his transparency about his personal shortcomings that he’s aware of. I hope the work on this memoir and the reactions to his interviews revealed more to him. I like that he continues to push forward and pursue his dreams. What is life without a star to reach for, right? And I hope that he can finally fully experience a time in life when someone is not looking at him as Urkel.
 
I gave it four stars.

​It’s been a long time, and now I pop back in January 2025 with my long overdue review of RuPaul’s The House of Hidden Meanings. Well, first off, it is undeniably a 5-star read. RuPaul is as unapologetic in his memoir as he is on Drag Race. He tells his story with eloquent raw authenticity that pulls listeners in and holds them captive, hanging on to every word. It is not just the enchantment of his voice, but his story is just hella-interesting. As a lover of audio memoirs, I have to place him somewhere in my top ten (I haven’t quite figured out where yet in comparison to Kerry Washington and Gabrielle Union). RuPaul is an amazing storyteller, and honestly, when he’s tired of being on the move, he should consider being an audio book reader. That might be the way to get me to listen to more fiction audio books.
 
The House of Hidden Meanings does exactly what it’s supposed to do and then some. There has to be a way to bookmark on Audible while driving, and I must learn it, because so many gems were dropped, but I can’t remember them. I will say this though, as RuPaul details his life from early childhood to grown-ass-man-ness, he shows an admirable amount of vulnerability that Black men, gay or straight could stand to lean into. I learned so much, not only about him, but about the times he grew up, struggled, and flourished in. He talks about how his parents’ personalities and interactions with him shaped him and I especially loved hearing about his relationship with his older sister. I am a big sister to seven (counting my stepsisters) and I can only hope that my siblings speak as highly and as lovingly of me as RuPaul speaks of his older sister. His family relationships were complex, but still rooted in love, even the deeply dysfunctional relationship he had with his father. At the end of the day, our parents are human beings and not often consciously products of their environments. Most of them are doing the best they can with what they got, and that’s all RuPaul’s parents did. For his father, it was hard enough being a Black man in this country. To be a Black man with a gay son, what was he supposed to do with that? (And I don’t mean that in reference to RuPaul as a person.) I mean, how does he play the cards he was dealt? I’m not saying what he did was right, walking away. I’m just saying for the times and circumstances, I’m not surprised that it seemed to be his best option. Same for his mother. Like most Black women in this country, she was all about strength. Unfortunately it’s a toxic kind of strength that she moved with and instilled in her children. The common misconception is that Black fathers make their sons afraid to be honest about their feelings and vulnerable. Truth is, it’s our mother too. They teach their sons as well as their daughters not to cry, that it’s a sign of weakness. RuPaul’s mother did this and down the line it contributed to much of his dangerous behavior.
 
Aside from his upbringing and family life, RuPaul also tells the story of how he became the RuPaul. I’ve always been so impressed with his style that you couldn’t tell me he didn’t come out the womb a glamorous drag queen. Much of his story is about the many years it took for him to evolve into the refined queen we see before us on the big and small screens. He talks about all the highs and lows of his career, but what stands throughout is that he knew he was on this earth to be something special. He knew he was meant to entertain. He's funny and full of sassy quips, which I now know came from his mother. He’s also musically inclined. You never know what you can do until you try. RuPaul is living proof of that. If there is one thing he was completely honest with himself about, was his star quality. He knew he had it and he kept pushing until he found his niche. I wish more of us would do that.
 
So many of us love RuPaul for being a multitalented drag queen, after listening to his memoir I love him for lessons in honesty, transparency, and chasing dreams until they are reality. Not much is hidden in The House of Hidden Meanings.
 
Download your copy and press play!

Trina came onto the scene in 1998 with Trick Daddy telling us, “You don’t know nann,” and the truth is after listening to her memoir on Audible, I realized I absolutely didn’t! Trina’s memoir opened up a whole new world of knowledge of the music business for millennial readers. For me, I was very proud of her by the end of the book, and honestly I had always been proud of Trina. I felt she kept it 100% real at all times, but knowing what I know now has my pride swelling for us Black women that are out here winning.

Trina tells us her life story from beginning to present and there isn’t a dull moment to note. She talks about her upbringing in a middle class family, and reveals the evolution of her independent streak. I don’t know if I am the only one who thought Trina grew up in poverty, but she certainly did not. It wasn’t upperclass, but very middle class and the family dabbled in some less desirable activities that Trina was not privy to as a child. That’s the way it should be. While the adults handled business, the kids were encouraged to be kids. The parents and other adults in Trina’s village were not strict, but they provided structure, set rules and boundaries, and applied consequences when necessary. She and her sister never went without and they were loved and they knew it.

Unlike some of the other memoirs I’ve listened to over the past year, Trina didn’t hold back on her intimate relationships. I appreciated her transparency and honesty, because I am a fan, and it’s comforting to know that a celebrity I admire has felt some of the same things I’ve felt, and they worked their way through it.

Of course, the biggest thing Trina discusses is her career. I had a few “laugh out loud” moments when she talked about her initial meeting with Trick Daddy, and later the beginnings of her career. Again, I have to say I am proud of the moves she made and her determination to stay true to herself. I completely got it when she discussed her role on Love & Hiphop Miami. It enlightened me to certain aspects of how this particular reality tv franchise is run, and I imagine that other legends in the game have similar contract stipulations when it comes to these shows. When I first saw that Trina would be joining the cast, I was annoyed. I felt she was too good to be on the show. After listening to her memoir though, I recognized that its all about multiple streams of income, and a type of accessibility to fans. Some things have negative results because there were no guidelines for conduct, but when done correctly, the ending doesn’t have to be disastrous.

One thing that Trina talks about in depth is her feeling on loss and death. I felt this was the deepest part of the book and again, I appreciate her transparency. My heart broke for her to some degree, but I admire her resilience. She recognizes that the show must go on, the living must live, but she doesn’t deny that grief takes a toll. Things do not get easier, you just don’t allow it to take over anymore. I felt all of that.

Trina’s story was a rollercoaster ride full of reveals and reality checks, and I truly enjoyed it.

However…
I am not happy with the lack of direction in her reading. Just because someone is a celebrity, educated, or both, doesn’t mean that they read well. To my knowledge, there are producers and/or directors present during audio book recordings. I felt they left Trina out to dry and it wasn’t right. She mispronounced a lot of words, and it had nothing to do with her accent. They are probably words she’s not in the habit of using and therefore was nervous about saying or simply didn’t know how to say them. Why weren’t corrections made? Why weren’t these things edited? I don’t blame Trina. I blame the editors and production team. They should have done better. Knowing that Trina is serious about what she puts out, the team should have done better by her.
This was almost a five-star listen, but production dropped the ball. Otherwise, pick up this book and I promise you will not be disappointed. Da Baddest did that!

On September 23, 2024 Kerry Washington released her book, Thicker Than Water: A Memoir, and I added it to my Audible list. I’d been a Kerry Washington fan since Our Song (2000), and she was from The Bronx. As a proud Bronx native, there was no way I would ignore that one of our own was sharing their story. Say what you want about The Bronx, to be from there is to be blessed with innate open-mindedness and street-smarts that manifest like superpowers.
For about two weeks straight, every morning, as I pulled out of my garage, I listened to Miss Washington’s melodic voice painted nostalgic pictures of life in 1980s & 1990s Castle Hill section of The Bronx. I didn’t grow up on that side, but I certainly knew about Jamie Towers, the apartment complex that she grew up in. If you lived there, you lived in luxury simply because they had a pool. Miss Washington describes her summers spent swimming in that pool and her connection to water, which both surprised me and literally made me smile. Apparently she’s a good and fast swimmer, and I am neither because I can’t swim. But I love being in water. It’s calming and allows for release and cleansing at the same time. I think Miss Washington’s connection to water is what sustained her through her inner and outer struggles. Without it, she may not have been able to tell her story so eloquently at the time she did.
She goes on to talk about her acting career and of course details events that I had no clue about. I love her honesty about how her feelings toward acting changed when it went from something like a hobby to a job. I love how she talked about her dreams and the effect living abroad in India had on her spirituality and acting. The Bronx can seem like its own world in itself, and there are so many types of people living, growing, learning, working, and thriving side by side that it is easy to lose interest in living anywhere else. We are already exposed to so much, positive and negative. So I can see how one would blow off living abroad. I don’t think I would ever have the nerve to do it, for completely different reasons, but I admire Miss Washington’s courage and especially at that time when long distance communication was nothing like it is now.
She doesn’t discuss her love life in great detail, but the way the love between her and her husband developed was nothing short of a modern fairytale. This is another reason I am grateful she read her own memoir, because no one else could do this part justice. She talks very briefly about boyfriends, different dating experiences, sexual experiences, and their outcomes, which I felt was highly respectful to her marriage. Why dwell on something if it bears only a little weight on who she is now?
Miss Washington also talks about motherhood, which is always important for visible celebrities to discuss. Motherhood is so complex and no two experiences can mirror each other. For working mothers there is so much concern about being able to keep a job and then keep up with the job. You have no idea what’s coming to you mentally, physically, or emotionally. In Miss Washington’s case, she was blessed with very supportive coworkers, and that was good to hear. Of course though, she worked for Shonda Rhimes, who is known create flexible and safe work environments, so I really shouldn’t have been surprised.
The start of the novel, though nostalgic to anyone growing up in urban areas in the 80s and 90s is shadowed by a life altering experience that dictates a lot of Miss Washington’s actions throughout her life. Along with that her questionable origin story is weaved into every chapter. Both elements help readers understand Miss Washington on a deeper level. I now, am more than a fan of her work as an actor. I am enthralled with her voice, storytelling ability, and most of all the way she connected the dots for herself and continues to face life’s adversities head on. I didn’t say it in the beginning, but naturally this is an all-around five-star read, and yes, you should download it immediately if you have not already!

​I give Who's That Girl?: A Memoir by Eve, 4/5 stars and here's why...
First and foremost, I was definitely an Eve fan when she first appeared on the hip hop scene with the Ruff Ryders. I am a Bronx native, and back in the day I'd seen the Ruff Ryders riding through the streets. I grew up, smack around the corner from Bronxdale projects, where rapper Drag-On lived, so I was also very aware of the Ruff Ryder's as a hip hop group. I was thrilled when Eve came on as the Ruff Ryders' first lady. I was and still am a fan of female rappers of all kinds. I grew up around a lot of boys, but because I was often the oldest, I was somewhat revered. I felt like I could relate to female rap artists who were the only women on their teams, because I was usually the only girl in situations in my family or on my block.
Now, I didn't actually read this book. I listened to the audio version on Audible. That's how I prefer to read/ingest memoirs. I think it's important to hear these stories in the authors' own voices. The stories are told more authentically that way.
In this memoir, Eve gives a brief overview of her family background. She talks about her upbringing in Philly, the relatives that inspired her, and her feelings towards school. However, the focus of the memoir was her career. While I love bts tea, and some was surely provided, I didn't feel like it was enough. Or did I feel that way because Eve, respectfully, doesn't always say names? I say "respectfully" because I honestly respect her choice, I just think the ratchet in me is looking for the ginger tea, y'know, the spice.
I was surprised by a lot of what Eve divulged, especially about herself. She was very successful at a very young age, and the quantity of public scandal was low in comparison to her peers. However I can see how the weight of the few things she was involved in had their different costs. Eve was always a class act to me, so what she did reveal in the memoir surprised me. I appreciate how she discussed her growth, both as an artist and as a person, and she said a lot of things that struck nerves in me.
I enjoyed the memoir and my only qualms were her reading style and the fact that it felt incomplete at the end. Eve is still young, so there should be an autobiography in another thirty years or so. Also, it took her a while to relax into reading the story. You can always tell with audio books, the authors who are struggling a bit to read the words they wrote with a co-author (or ghostwriter). Sometimes they're missing inflection or the inflection seems to be all over the place. I felt Eve had to ease into it.
Overall though, I enjoyed the memoir. I gained some gems from some insight into her life and again I was reminded that these stars who I felt were bigger than life growing up, are human, experiencing the same emotions and complexities of life as me. That is always refreshing.