​Of course, prior to the release of this book, I heard the interviews and I scrolled the social media pages of his castmates, double checking everyone’s temperature on Jaleel White’s memoir. When I first saw the cover on my Audible feed, I was excited and immediately shared the upcoming release with the Black Icons Book Club. We all pre-ordered and awaited the download date. We took a break from our Black icons, and upon our returns to work, we got down to listening to Growing Up Urkel.
 
Overall, it’s a good listen. I found it to be very insightful. White shed light on a lot of things that I never would’ve given a thought to. I was a TGIF fan growing up, and of course a major fan of Family Matters. I even dressed up as a female Urkel in the fourth grade for Halloween. Back then, in the thick of the nineties when there were so many child stars to relate to, admire, and look up to, we never thought about the effects of fame. When we millennials reached our early twenties is when we learned that fame at a young age isn’t all it's cracked up to be. We participated in the auto-typecasting of actors like Jaleel White. The minute we saw his face on screen, we expected to laugh and we did. We laughed no matter what he was doing. We nudged each other saying, “look at Urkel tryna act.” Now that we’ve reached our forties, many of us feel bad for contributing to Hollywood’s exploits. We’re interested in finding out the truth and we’re giving those same child stars we laughed at, space to show us all they can do. Now hearing what it was like for White all those years ago creates a different experience when watching Family Matters nowadays.
 
I’m on the fence about some of the comments White made about his castmates. I think somehow I already had the impression that because he was the star of the show, he was treated better than everyone else on the show. It may have been just enough for him to say that he wasn’t. I don’t think he needed to comment on reasons for Jaimee Foxworth’s vague exit from the show. She’s had ample opportunity to speak on it, and White’s comments about her lack of skill seemed petty. He talks about his friendship with Kellie Shanygne Williams, but then he drops a comment about her weight that was something like, due to personal reasons she couldn’t maintain an ideal weight, and therefore left Hollywood. That threw me off. If he’s her friend, and it was personal reasons, why mention it at all? It’s like he was saying things about people that no one asked him about. It was weird and petty. The story about Bianca Lawson floored me. He really thought that girl was using him and he based that on her interest in his future. Like, maybe for a time he thought he was being used. But now, he’s gotta know she was trying to see if he was worth her time. She was trying to see if he was of her caliber. Now he can’t escape his childhood character and her face has been seen in a range of films and tv shows. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her play the same role twice. White’s parents were real regular, he knows damn well he’s in desperate need of Lawson or Gordy (or Ross, or Jackson) magic.
 
It sounds like White had to fight not to be taken advantage of, but I’m not sure the battles are over. Whoever advised him on this memoir and edited it must’ve had ulterior motives. Why else would anyone let him make such unnecessarily absurd comments?  
 
On the other hand, I applaud his parents for doing the best they could. While they made their mistakes, we know there are parents who’ve done much worse. I am proud of White for never succumbing to drug abuse, or extreme bouts of depression. I enjoyed his transparency about his personal shortcomings that he’s aware of. I hope the work on this memoir and the reactions to his interviews revealed more to him. I like that he continues to push forward and pursue his dreams. What is life without a star to reach for, right? And I hope that he can finally fully experience a time in life when someone is not looking at him as Urkel.
 
I gave it four stars.

​It’s been a long time, and now I pop back in January 2025 with my long overdue review of RuPaul’s The House of Hidden Meanings. Well, first off, it is undeniably a 5-star read. RuPaul is as unapologetic in his memoir as he is on Drag Race. He tells his story with eloquent raw authenticity that pulls listeners in and holds them captive, hanging on to every word. It is not just the enchantment of his voice, but his story is just hella-interesting. As a lover of audio memoirs, I have to place him somewhere in my top ten (I haven’t quite figured out where yet in comparison to Kerry Washington and Gabrielle Union). RuPaul is an amazing storyteller, and honestly, when he’s tired of being on the move, he should consider being an audio book reader. That might be the way to get me to listen to more fiction audio books.
 
The House of Hidden Meanings does exactly what it’s supposed to do and then some. There has to be a way to bookmark on Audible while driving, and I must learn it, because so many gems were dropped, but I can’t remember them. I will say this though, as RuPaul details his life from early childhood to grown-ass-man-ness, he shows an admirable amount of vulnerability that Black men, gay or straight could stand to lean into. I learned so much, not only about him, but about the times he grew up, struggled, and flourished in. He talks about how his parents’ personalities and interactions with him shaped him and I especially loved hearing about his relationship with his older sister. I am a big sister to seven (counting my stepsisters) and I can only hope that my siblings speak as highly and as lovingly of me as RuPaul speaks of his older sister. His family relationships were complex, but still rooted in love, even the deeply dysfunctional relationship he had with his father. At the end of the day, our parents are human beings and not often consciously products of their environments. Most of them are doing the best they can with what they got, and that’s all RuPaul’s parents did. For his father, it was hard enough being a Black man in this country. To be a Black man with a gay son, what was he supposed to do with that? (And I don’t mean that in reference to RuPaul as a person.) I mean, how does he play the cards he was dealt? I’m not saying what he did was right, walking away. I’m just saying for the times and circumstances, I’m not surprised that it seemed to be his best option. Same for his mother. Like most Black women in this country, she was all about strength. Unfortunately it’s a toxic kind of strength that she moved with and instilled in her children. The common misconception is that Black fathers make their sons afraid to be honest about their feelings and vulnerable. Truth is, it’s our mother too. They teach their sons as well as their daughters not to cry, that it’s a sign of weakness. RuPaul’s mother did this and down the line it contributed to much of his dangerous behavior.
 
Aside from his upbringing and family life, RuPaul also tells the story of how he became the RuPaul. I’ve always been so impressed with his style that you couldn’t tell me he didn’t come out the womb a glamorous drag queen. Much of his story is about the many years it took for him to evolve into the refined queen we see before us on the big and small screens. He talks about all the highs and lows of his career, but what stands throughout is that he knew he was on this earth to be something special. He knew he was meant to entertain. He's funny and full of sassy quips, which I now know came from his mother. He’s also musically inclined. You never know what you can do until you try. RuPaul is living proof of that. If there is one thing he was completely honest with himself about, was his star quality. He knew he had it and he kept pushing until he found his niche. I wish more of us would do that.
 
So many of us love RuPaul for being a multitalented drag queen, after listening to his memoir I love him for lessons in honesty, transparency, and chasing dreams until they are reality. Not much is hidden in The House of Hidden Meanings.
 
Download your copy and press play!