Nothing to Hide in the House of Hidden Meanings - A Review of RuPaul's Memoir

​It’s been a long time, and now I pop back in January 2025 with my long overdue review of RuPaul’s The House of Hidden Meanings. Well, first off, it is undeniably a 5-star read. RuPaul is as unapologetic in his memoir as he is on Drag Race. He tells his story with eloquent raw authenticity that pulls listeners in and holds them captive, hanging on to every word. It is not just the enchantment of his voice, but his story is just hella-interesting. As a lover of audio memoirs, I have to place him somewhere in my top ten (I haven’t quite figured out where yet in comparison to Kerry Washington and Gabrielle Union). RuPaul is an amazing storyteller, and honestly, when he’s tired of being on the move, he should consider being an audio book reader. That might be the way to get me to listen to more fiction audio books.
 
The House of Hidden Meanings does exactly what it’s supposed to do and then some. There has to be a way to bookmark on Audible while driving, and I must learn it, because so many gems were dropped, but I can’t remember them. I will say this though, as RuPaul details his life from early childhood to grown-ass-man-ness, he shows an admirable amount of vulnerability that Black men, gay or straight could stand to lean into. I learned so much, not only about him, but about the times he grew up, struggled, and flourished in. He talks about how his parents’ personalities and interactions with him shaped him and I especially loved hearing about his relationship with his older sister. I am a big sister to seven (counting my stepsisters) and I can only hope that my siblings speak as highly and as lovingly of me as RuPaul speaks of his older sister. His family relationships were complex, but still rooted in love, even the deeply dysfunctional relationship he had with his father. At the end of the day, our parents are human beings and not often consciously products of their environments. Most of them are doing the best they can with what they got, and that’s all RuPaul’s parents did. For his father, it was hard enough being a Black man in this country. To be a Black man with a gay son, what was he supposed to do with that? (And I don’t mean that in reference to RuPaul as a person.) I mean, how does he play the cards he was dealt? I’m not saying what he did was right, walking away. I’m just saying for the times and circumstances, I’m not surprised that it seemed to be his best option. Same for his mother. Like most Black women in this country, she was all about strength. Unfortunately it’s a toxic kind of strength that she moved with and instilled in her children. The common misconception is that Black fathers make their sons afraid to be honest about their feelings and vulnerable. Truth is, it’s our mother too. They teach their sons as well as their daughters not to cry, that it’s a sign of weakness. RuPaul’s mother did this and down the line it contributed to much of his dangerous behavior.
 
Aside from his upbringing and family life, RuPaul also tells the story of how he became the RuPaul. I’ve always been so impressed with his style that you couldn’t tell me he didn’t come out the womb a glamorous drag queen. Much of his story is about the many years it took for him to evolve into the refined queen we see before us on the big and small screens. He talks about all the highs and lows of his career, but what stands throughout is that he knew he was on this earth to be something special. He knew he was meant to entertain. He's funny and full of sassy quips, which I now know came from his mother. He’s also musically inclined. You never know what you can do until you try. RuPaul is living proof of that. If there is one thing he was completely honest with himself about, was his star quality. He knew he had it and he kept pushing until he found his niche. I wish more of us would do that.
 
So many of us love RuPaul for being a multitalented drag queen, after listening to his memoir I love him for lessons in honesty, transparency, and chasing dreams until they are reality. Not much is hidden in The House of Hidden Meanings.
 
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