Chapter Thirteen - Marsha

I marveled at the sprawling ranch home as Jeremy pulled into the circular driveway that belonged to Lovelie and her family. We were gathering for a family lunch, and his parents were on the way as well. I’d spent the morning at Jeremy’s side, accompanying him to the homes of different relatives. I stood silent as they smiled through introductions and then gave all their attention to Jeremy. Their conversations were strictly in Creole, with occasional apologies to me and mentions of me learning the language. 
I followed Jeremy around to the back of the house, where a pool even larger than the one his parents had was centered in the yard, edged with concrete and the typical pool furniture. Beyond that, round tables sat under several large umbrellas. Left of the tables was a small tennis court. To my immediate left was a patio decorated with two luxurious patio couches. I heard a click, and an awning eased out of the side of the house, covering the patio and providing much-needed shade from the Miami sun. Wow, I thought to myself, this was a lot for people who owned a few local businesses. They had to be extremely profitable.
Lovelie came out of the house with her arms outstretched toward Jeremy. “Ti frè, ou finalman isit la!”
“Yes, yes, I’m finally here,” Jeremy responded as they embraced.
“Sak pase? Kòman vòl ou te ye?”
“The flight was good. I want you to meet my girlfriend, Marsha.” He stepped back for his sister to observe me. 
Though we stood eye to eye, I felt small under Lovelie’s assessment and feigned smile. I could tell she did not approve, and my heart dropped. I knew his mother wasn’t crazy about me, and now this. The women might have spoken about me before Lovelie and I met. Her formal embrace was cool against the Miami heat. My heart sank further into the pit of my stomach as I realized I had four more days to go with Jeremy’s family. Four more days of being an obvious outcast, something I never expected.
I quietly observed the Anthony family as they broke bread together. They were loud, and much of their conversation sounded as if they were arguing, which wasn’t too different from the Lindo family. At least with my family, I knew the dialect and could tell the difference between hostility and playful banter. I longed to be more fluent in Creole and mentally chided myself for not continuing to learn French after high school. That might’ve helped, somewhat.
Still, they all fit together like puzzle pieces or a patchwork quilt. Lovelie was almost a spitting image of her mother. Most of the family was tall and built like athletic royalty. The women were brick houses, and the men were hunky. Their complexions ranged from sun-consumed to sun-kissed to lightly sun-pecked browns. Jeremy, Lovelie, and their mother had beautiful brown eyes that disappeared behind their cheeks when they laughed or smiled. Whenever Jeremy laughed, I would say that happiness swallowed his face. I loved seeing that in his mother and sister, even if they never felt happiness towards me, that swallowed their faces. 
After consuming a Haitian spread fit for an imperial tribe, members wandered off in different directions. Jeremy and Lovelie walked further out beyond the seating area, and I sat alone on the patio. A few of the cousins were hanging out by the pool, and Jeremy’s parents were inside. The patio door slid open, and Lovelie’s husband, Ricardo, appeared. He didn’t seem to notice me at first. His eyes stared off into the distance at his wife and her brother, deep in discussion, but he smiled when he saw me looking up at him. 
“Kijan ye?” he asked.
I shrugged and mumbled the few Creole words I knew, “Mwen la.”
“You prefer me to speak English?” Ricardo chuckled.
I nodded my head yes.
“No problem. How do you like Miami?”
“It’s nice.”
“It’s your first time?”
“I’ve been here when I was younger, but I don’t remember it.”
Ricardo nodded his head this time. “It’s different as an adult. The nightlife is something,” his voice trailed off. 
I was lost on what to say next. 
“Is Jeremy planning to take you anywhere?” Ricardo continued.
“Well, he said we would stop by some more family, go to the restaurant, and the beach.”
“Ah. No clubs?”
I shook my head no, as I didn’t recall Jeremy mentioning any clubs.
Ricardo chuckled again, shaking his head. “Ah, that Jeremy is a slick one.”
“How ya mean?” I asked.
“Nothing. Nothing. You guys should hit up some clubs. If he’s not going to take you, I will.” With that, Ricardo winked. 
Anxiety spiked. My throat dried, and sweat crept out of my pores from the back of my head down and down my back. I tried clearing my throat. 
“What?” Ricardo asked. “You wouldn’t like that? You’re a beautiful girl. I don’t know why Jeremy didn’t plan to take you around and show you off. If I were him, that’s what I would do.”
I breathed deeply, trying to force away the urge to take off running, because what was happening?
“De kisa ou de ap pale?” Lovelie’s sharp voice cut the tension and calmed my nerves at the same time, though she angrily demanded to know what we were discussing.
“Nothing to worry about, mon amour.” Ricardo stood and embraced his wife, whose eyes darted back and forth between him and me. 
“Tell me,” she demanded, “tell me what you two were talking about.”
Ricardo rolled his eyes. “I was asking Marsha what Jeremy had planned for their time here, and she doesn’t know. Right, Marsha?”
I nodded my head in agreement.
Lovelie looked me up and down as if I were something dirty and pulled her husband toward the patio doors. 
“You okay?” Jeremy asked, seemingly unbothered by the entire exchange.
“Yeah. Ricardo—”
“He’s weird,” Jeremy said, waving his hand.
“He mentioned we should go to some clubs.”
Jeremy shrugged. “I guess we could do that. I was out here mainly to visit with family and introduce you to them.”
I lowered my eyes to the ground.
“You sure everything is okay?” Jeremy double-checked.
“I’m not sure any of them like me,” I admitted in a mumble.
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling I get.”
“Ignore that feeling. You just nervous.”
“Yeah, but—”
“But what? My family doesn’t say any of the things that your family says about me.”
“But they still say things. What have they said?”
Jeremy shook his head. “Nothing, Marsha.”
I whispered, “I know they say things about my weight.”
“Who doesn’t, Marsha? Sheila talks about your weight all the time.”
“Yeah, but it’s different.”
“How different? You worried about my family not liking you, meanwhile, your jealous cousin has been trying to run and ruin your life the whole time you been in this country. Maybe you’re jealous of the relationships I have with my family.”
My insides crumbled. Where was this going? “I was just worried. You’re right. It is me. Every girl wants to be liked by her boyfriend’s family.”
“You don’t think that goes both ways?”
“I’m sure it does, and I’m sorry about how Sheila treated you.”
Jeremy frowned, realizing he really had no way of keeping the argument up. “It’s cool. It’s not your fault. You wanna go out tonight? We can go out tonight.”
I smiled. “Sure, I think I would like that.”

*****



Glad that I packed a skintight gold lamé minidress, I admired my look in the full-length mirror in the bedroom I shared with Jeremy in his parents’ home. Jeremy came in from the hall and whistled. “Lookin’ good, baby. What shoes are you gonna wear?”
I held up a pair of gold strappy stilettos. 
Jeremy nodded his head in approval. “You might have to sleep alone tonight.”
“Why?”
“You lookin too good for me to be on good behavior in my parents’ home.”
I blushed.
Jeremy stepped closer to me. He was delectable in linen pants and a cream-colored shirt. His fingertips grazed my inner thighs, and I shuddered with desire.
“Path to heaven,” Jeremy breathed into my right ear.
I giggled as he kissed me on my cheek. 
“We gotta go, though. Lovelie and Ricardo are waiting.”
“They’re going too?” I asked.
“Yup.” Jeremy nearly skipped out of the room, leaving me slightly dumbfounded. Lovelie and Ricardo made me uncomfortable. I knew Lovelie didn’t like me, and I worried that Ricardo liked me too much. The dichotomy was a lot to deal with, especially knowing I had no one to talk to about it. 
It was after ten when we pulled up to The Villa Night Club in Jeremy’s parents’ sleek black Bentley. I felt like no matter where we went, I could smell the ocean. It reminded me a little of Antigua, and for brief moments, I missed my tiny island. I followed closely behind Jeremy as he skipped the line and led me through the club to a table crowded with his cousins. Lovelie and Ricardo sat amongst them, looking like the big brother and sister that they were. Lovelie wore a flowing jumpsuit patterned with palm trees, while Ricardo complemented her in a pale green shirt, slacks, and white shoes. 
Lovelie didn’t look like she wanted to be there, and Ricardo looked like he wanted to belong there. While the couple made me uncomfortable, I felt sorry for them. Something was going on between them that was not that of a loving pair. I looked at Jeremy and thought to myself, not us, though. We won’t be like them.
I could see the distaste in Lovelie’s eyes as Jeremy and I approached the table. It shouldn’t matter, I told myself. But for some reason, it did. In a few days, I would be back in New York, searching for an apartment for Jeremy and me to live together. I would rarely see his family, especially his mother and sister. Why did it matter so much that they liked and approved of me? I flinched when one of Jeremy’s female cousins, Samentha, grabbed my hand. “Okay, sexy!” She shouted. “Ou gade cho!”
“Of course, my girl is lookin’ hot,” Jeremy chimed in. “We know I only rock with the slim goodies.”
“Mèg tankou yon zonbi,” Lovelie snickered.
Ricardo nudged her, and she rolled her eyes. “Slim like a model,” Lovelie said through her phony smile. “If you turn to the side, we couldn’t even see you. Jeremy likes a slim goodie but never this slim.”
This time, Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay,” he said. He grabbed a bottle of Moët off the table and two glasses. He handed one to me and winked. “Grab a glass, family. We should toast. We don’t do this often enough.”
All his cousins quickly snatched champagne flutes from the table and stretched out their arms for Jeremy to fill their glasses with bubbly. “To family!” He called out.
“A fanmi!” They all responded as they raised their glasses and gulped down the gold fizz. 
I was not crazy about champagne, but the Moët worked for me. I was glad to get on the dance floor with Jeremy and eventually found myself dancing with his cousins. I was caught up in the moment when I realized I had stumbled into a close two-step with Ricardo. 
I didn’t even know where Ricardo appeared from or how Jeremy had disappeared. Kompe music rocked the floor, and though everyone danced close to this type of music, I knew this could go horribly awry. 
“Where did Jeremy go?” I asked Ricardo.
“Not far. He’s at the bar.”
I twisted my neck while trying to maintain rhythm. I didn’t want to be rude, but I needed to know my surroundings. I didn’t need Lovelie or Jeremy getting the wrong idea. 
“He’s talking to an old friend.” Ricardo stepped back an inch, held my hands in his, and pointed his chin up towards the bar.
There, Jeremy stood having an intense conversation with a young woman whose face I could not see. She was very curvy, with thick curly hair that nearly touched her behind. The young lady pointed a long, square-tipped, elaborately decorated nail in his face. Jeremy grabbed the girl’s hand and kissed her knuckles. My stomach jerked. Suddenly, Ricardo swung me around to the music, forcing me to lose sight of what was happening at the bar. 
“Stop it,” I demanded, with alcoholic confidence.
“What? We’re just dancing,” Ricardo faked innocence.
“You know he’s over there with another woman.”
“That’s just an old friend.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“That’s enough,” Lovelie’s abrupt voice cut into an exchange between Ricardo and me yet again. 
“Thank you,” I expressed appreciation for Lovelie freeing me from Ricardo’s weird entrapment.
“Just go sit down and stop flirting with my husband already,” Lovelie hissed.
“What?” I shrieked.
“Ou tande mwen!”
“Yeah, I heard you, but I’m not sure I understand. I’m not flirtin with ya husband.”
“I suppose you’re going to say he’s flirting with you!”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “He is too forward, though.”
“You girls that Jeremy brings around are the same with your light skin and long hair. You’re just like that Spanish one. Did he ever tell you about her? She met all his cousins and friends. He was so in love with her, too. But she stuck up just like you, and her father had the nerve to say that my brother wasn’t good enough for her!”
“Okay, okay, okay, c’mon now,” Ricardo attempted to slow his enraged wife down.
“Yes, c’mon, we are leaving. I knew we had no business going out with these children.”
I stepped back and looked around to exit the dance floor while Ricardo moved ahead, somewhat dragging Lovelie behind him. I followed, figuring I would just go back to the table and sit. I would address Jeremy’s shenanigans in private, as well as the craziness between his sister and me.
Lovelie stopped short and turned to face me. “My brother doesn’t love you. I don’t know what he’s running around with you for, or why he brought you here, but your time with him is short. He’s a player. He’s had women all over this city. Some of them are here now. He may not have brought them all home like he did with you and the Spanish girl, but believe me, not you, not her, not none of you are special.” Lovelie scrunched up her face and spat the words, “Haiti had independence long before the rest of you mutts, so you are not better than us. Chen mèg!”
I didn’t have a chance to respond to being called a skinny bitch before Lovelie stormed off behind her husband. 

*****



Determined to keep our issues strictly between us, I waited until Jeremy and I were alone in the Bentley to unleash all that I was holding onto in the club since seeing him kiss that young lady’s knuckles.
“Who is she?” I demanded.
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Jeremy waved a hand, dismissing my third ask.
“You want me to spell it all out again? The girl at the bar. Yuh left me there on the dance floor with ya family. Ya sister don’t like me and ya brother-in-law like me too much.”
We stopped at a red light, giving Jeremy enough time to roll his eyes and turn his head to face me in slow motion. “Why you think my sister don’t like you?”
“She—” I stopped as she recalled everything Lovelie said to me. Every time I replayed Lovelie’s voice in my head, I felt the sting. “She said you don’t love me. You never would. She said you’re playin me, that you had a lot of women and some of them were there in the club. I guess that was one at the bar.”
Jeremy sighed. “You can’t listen to Lovelie. She’s miserable. She’s married to a weirdo.”
“A weirdo who flirts wid his brother-in-law’s girlfriend?”
Jeremy’s face twitched as he tried to focus on the road. “Flirted with you?”
“Yes. That’s what I was trying to tell you.”
Suddenly, Jeremy made a U-turn at the light and pressed gas. The car jerked forward, flying down the Miami streets at top speed. I held onto the car door handle for support. “Where are you going?” I asked, although I knew where we were headed. In minutes, we were swerving into Lovelie’s driveway. I rushed out of the car behind Jeremy as he approached the front door. He leaned on the doorbell and then banged loudly. One of the live-in housekeepers came to the door.
“Mr. Jeremy, is everything okay?” she asked.
“Where is Ricardo?” he barked.
“He just went to bed.” The housekeeper looked past Jeremy at me, asking with her eyes what was wrong.
I didn’t know how to answer. Everything was happening like a movie on fast forward.
Jeremy moved ahead, and I followed. I wanted to stop him. This whole thing was getting bigger and bigger, and although we weren’t in public, I was becoming embarrassed. Lovelie appeared in the living room, gripping the sash of a lavender satin robe. “Jeremy, what are you doing here?” she hissed. “You’re waking up my household.”
“You weren’t sleep that long, if at all.” The siblings were both tall, but Jeremy still towered over his older sister. “Mwen vle pale ak Ricardo.”
“What do you want to speak to my husband about now that you couldn’t speak to him about earlier?”
“You left the club in a hurry! You know he did something!” Jeremy roared.
My stomach flipped at the rage in his voice. I worried that the yelling could transform into something more violent. I’d never seen him be violent, but I recognized the potential.
Lovelie was unmoved, though. She stepped closer to her brother, matching his bold intensity. “He did not do anything. It’s your little light-skinned tramp that you brought here! She was all in his face, trying to get his attention since this afternoon.”
“What?” I gasped.
“Don’t lie!” Lovelie attempted to push past Jeremy, but she was no match for the amount of space he took up between her and me.
Finally, Ricardo entered the room wearing only pajama pants. He placed himself between Lovelie and Jeremy. Only his energy could back Lovelie down. “Look, look, everybody is up in arms about nothing. Lovelie, go back to bed. Jeremy, Marsha may have misunderstood. We were dancing kompe. Brotha, you know how it is.”
Ricardo looked past Jeremy to me. “I meant nothing by it, Marsha. In our culture, we dance close.”
“Antigua girls dance close, too,” Lovelie threw in over her husband’s shoulder.
“Yeah, but it’s still different,” Ricardo explained.
My stomach was now in my heels. Jeremy was fighting with his sister and brother-in-law, and it was all my fault. The champagne had surely worn off by now, and I started to think that maybe I had misunderstood Ricardo’s way of communicating with me. And was it really Jeremy that I saw at the bar with the girl?
Jeremy turned to me. “Was it just dancing?”
All eyes were on me, and I wanted to disappear. “I guess,” I murmured.
Jeremy turned back to Ricardo. “Keep ya distance, man.”
Ricardo raised his hands in defeat. “I meant no harm, brotha.”
Jeremy took a deep breath. “Lovelie, we’ll talk.”
Lovelie rolled her eyes.
“We should all head to bed,” Ricardo stated with finality. “You guys can stay here if you don’t want to drive back.”
“Nah, we good,” Jeremy said, backing away.
“I can lock the door,” the housekeeper said out of nowhere. Everyone in the room had forgotten she was there. I finally noticed the whole room. I could see Lovelie’s youngest child standing in the shadows of the hall where Lovelie and Ricardo had first come from. They truly had disturbed the whole house because of a misunderstanding. We needed to return to Jeremy’s parents’ house. I didn’t want to be in Lovelie’s home another minute. The woman already didn’t like me, and now this. I didn’t have to tell Jeremy what was said. It wouldn’t change anything. At least he was willing to defend me against Ricardo. He said Lovelie was miserable, and who would know better than him?
Without a word, I followed Jeremy out of the house and kept my mouth shut on the ride home. Speaking up always caused drama. Jeremy drove in silence. When we finally entered his parents’ home, we silently undressed and slid into bed, facing away from each other.
“I told you, Lovelie is miserable. Ricardo is weird, maybe even a little slow. He doesn’t know how he comes off sometimes. She knows something’s up with him. You sure it wasn’t more than dancing?”
“I guess I misunderstood.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Though I second-guessed what I’d seen in the club, I tried one more time. “So there were no ex-girlfriends in the club?”
Jeremy sucked his teeth. “I saw an old friend. I kissed her hand. We play around like that sometimes. If I can catch up with her this week, I’ll introduce you. I don’t have her number or nuthin like that though.”
“Okay. It looked like she was angry at you—”
“Marsha, go to sleep.”

*****



After the incident at Nasir’s, Marsha didn’t speak for the remainder of her junior year in high school. Then, right before entering senior year, Desireé stopped at her house.
“Hey gyal!” Paige called from the calilou patch as Marsha sat in her favorite spot under the mango tree, with a book in her lap.
Marsha looked up, squinting in the afternoon sun.
“Ya ex-girlfriend ah come look fa you,” Paige proclaimed.
“What now?” Marsha said, in between grunts and sighs. Everything about Paige aggravated her right down to her soul.
Paige knew she irked her sister, and she enjoyed it. Her happiness was woven into the smirk she wore and the way she stood with her hands on her hips.
“Desireé de inna di front yard. Yuh want mi fa tell her ya done tek up wit ya books again?” Paige snickered.
Marsha thought for a minute. Curious about her visit, she waved Paige off and walked through the backyard to the front.
She felt nothing as she laid eyes on Desireé. They still saw each other when school was in session, and Marsha anticipated seeing her around campus for another year anyway. Something felt different as the two approached each other in the center of the front yard, though.
“Cómo estas?” Desireé asked with real concern in her eyes.
“Bien. Y tu?” Marsha opted to give whatever energy she received from Desireé, down to speaking Spanish with her.
Desireé shrugged, “Así, así.”
Marsha nodded. “What ya come fa?”
“I just wanted to wish you good luck this year,” Desireé said solemnly.
Marsha looked her over from head to toe.
Desireé gulped at the knot in her throat. “My parents are getting back together, so we’re going to DR. I won’t be doing senior year here.”
Marsha nodded, slowly taking the information in. Sadness built in the pit of her stomach and pulled at her heart, and signaled her eyes to start the waterworks, but she fought it all.
“Good luck to you, too,” she said. “With the love of your life and all.”
Desireé pursed her lips, unable to fight the tears that were pooling in her lower eyelids. “I’m gonna miss you, Marsha.”
Marsha sighed. “I’ll miss you too,” she said flatly.
Desireé looked defeated by Marsha’s lack of emotion. Still, she reached out and hugged her close. Marsha hugged her back, just not as hard. She wanted to squeeze too, but she couldn’t let her feelings show. After that night at the party, she’d gone back to being the “stush gyal.” She was steeped in character and felt there was no turning back.
The girls released each other, and Marsha watched Desireé walk sadly down the road in the direction of the home she would no longer live in. When Marsha didn’t see her anymore, she went back to her seat under the mango tree and did what always made her feel better. She shut out reality and buried herself in a book.