But Nothing About You is Gone – A Review of Diahann Carroll’s Memoir, The Legs Are the Last to Go

Back in March of this year, I listened to Diahann Carroll’s memoir, The Legs Are the Last to Go. This is a memoir that left me full and touched on many different emotions. First of all, I LOVE Diahann Carroll. I have been fascinated by her since childhood. For me, she made her biggest impression while on A Different World as Whitley Gilbert-Wayne’s mother, Marion Gilbert. A Different World was one of my favorite shows, and I felt that Diahann Carroll was everything Whitley Gilbert’s mother should be. One of my mother’s and aunt’s favorite movies is Claudine, and while so many things hit close to home as a Black woman of any generation, as a child I was intrigued by Carroll’s ability to play such vastly different women. Then, because my aunt lived for Dynasty, I also became privy to Carroll’s role as Dominique Deveraux. The more I saw Carroll, the more I wanted to see. Early on, she was a role model and icon in my young mind, and I watched everything she was in.

Diahann Carroll was born and raised in New York (The Bronx and Harlem) to middle-class, hardworking parents who equally valued the arts as well as education. At the start of the memoir, Carroll describes herself with all of the best adjectives and highlights her material possessions. I said to myself, “She is coming out the gate bragging, and I am loving every minute of it!” However, I quickly learned that even though she describes and carries herself like royalty, deserving of only the best—and this is a direct result of her parents raising her as a Harlem princess—Carroll still suffered from the same insecurities that many women deal with. She attributes her failed relationships and marriages to these insecurities, and the correlation is on point. Her assessment is proof of true self-reflection, something that I am big on.

​One of the things that surprised me was how she felt about her mother. Across the African diaspora, we carry this reverence for our parents, especially our mothers. Unfortunately, many of our mothers carry the brunt of child-rearing. (I used to joke that I wanted to be the daddy, so I could just not have time to do things, just return my child to the mommy, and not have to figure anything out, but rather leave the thinking to the mommy.) Anyway, this veneration causes us to ignore, bury, or simply not speak on our negative feelings at all toward our mothers. As of late, Millennials (my generation) are learning to be honest about how we feel about our mothers (thanks to therapy for many of us). So I was surprised that someone of an older generation could be so real about not only what she observed of her mother, but how she felt about her. It was refreshing.

Carroll approaches every stage of her life with blatant honesty. She kept it 100 about everything that happened, as well as her reactions and feelings, and whether her actions and reactions were right, wrong, or appropriate. Not only was she honest about her feelings toward her mother, but she also reflected on the type of mother she was and what she could’ve done better. I believe that is the reason why her relationship with her daughter was strong. I loved listening to the end when she talked about the type of grandmother she was. Again, she didn’t try to be anyone other than who she was, and she didn’t create a false granny who wears her hair in a bun and bakes cookies. She bought her grandchildren attire meant for ladies and gentlemen, and though small children aren’t always interested in that sort of thing (particularly the labels) it’ll be a source of warm memories when they are older.
I was impressed with the highs of her career and how she handled the lows. I was surprised that she just barely mentioned her time on A Different World, and I wonder if there’s anything to that. Carroll was candid about most things, though, and I imagine that had to be cathartic for her. Also, at her age, who was going to check her?

​Of course, this was a 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 🍷 listen for me. Diahann Carroll gave me everything I wanted, needed, and more in this sincere reflection of her life. This memoir is now on my list of “must-reads.” She called this book The Legs Are the Last to Go, but Carroll’s impact on my life is here to stay.